What is a surprise ringbearer and how to include one in your wedding ceremony
Traditionally the role of ringbearer is a role given to a young boy - and there are lots of gushing oohs and aaahs at the little chap. More recently the role of ringbearer has been given to many different people in the couple’s lives - a parent, a friend, even on occasion their dog!
Surprise ringbearers are becoming more popular with couples looking to inject a bit of energy into their ceremony. I’ve also chatted with couples who have considered letting luck be their ringbearer when they just can’t decide, or for many reasons choose, who the guardian of their rings should be.
So what is a surprise-ringbearer?
A surprise-ringbearer is very much as it sounds. The ringbearer is not chosen before the wedding ceremony and is not usually a member of the wedding party. It is left in the hands of luck - and is a total surprise to everyone: The couple. The celebrant. The wedding party. The guests!
The rings are hidden, secretly under the chairs of one of the guests before the guests arrive. At the right time in the ceremony, your guests are invited by the celebrant to check their chairs. The person who finds the ring then takes part in the ceremony by presenting the ring to the couple.
The surprise-ringbearer generates so many wonderful expressions for photographers, and whilst it is one person who takes the rings up to the couple because they haven’t been chosen specifically by someone to do this, they represent all of the guests - making the guests very much part of the ceremony structure.
When would you choose a surprise-ringbearer?
The decision for whether this is right in your ceremony is totally yours. For some couples it helps them to celebrate how important their wider network is, without having to individually pick a person to stand by their side and have a formal role in the day - this allows for guests to all be symbolically included in this role and all feel equally important.
How do you set up a surprise-ringbearer?
Your rings, then these are given to a trusted person who will place them securely under a chair that they pick. They alone know where the rings are placed and this is not shared with the couple or guests. Guests are invited into the room to choose their seats, and the ceremony proceeds as usual, and at the right moment, your celebrant will invite guests to look under their chairs to locate the rings.
The rings are usually attached to chairs in a pouch or with coloured ribbons to make them visible, and less likely to lose.
Alternatively, if you’d rather someone keeps your rings safely you can still include a secret ring-bearer, with a card or letter being placed under the selected seat and the rings then collected from the side of the room - this is a nice option to include if you’re choosing a pre-ceremony ring warming and the rings are already on display to one side.
Secret ringbearers are a real treat for everyone at the wedding, they make all the guests feel included and give people plenty to talk about during the rest of the afternoon.
